NC (voiceover): So Ernest sets up a trap for the troll before he drops the two kids off at their home. (He holds up a script to flip through the pages and stops on one to read it) Just says here, “Poorly done transition. NC (voiceover): (as Francis, who looks at the camera briefly) Well, I’m glad you can sit through it, folks. It is the fifth film to feature the character Ernest P. Worrell. Ernest Scared Stupid is a 1991 American fantasy horror comedy film directed by John R. Cherry III starring Jim Varney. Is that you? With the rest of the townsfolk now backing him up and telling him to douse Trantor in milk, Ernest realizes that the troll children were susceptible to the milk, while Trantor himself would be weak against unconditional love: "the heart of a child." Oh, my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD! Trespassing on an old lady’s land? Kenny: (turns a switch on the outside) This should open it! NC (voiceover): Ernest, of course, sees the troll and tries to get some help nearby. (The same text appears as Rimshot does appear sitting in the pickup truck), (NC squeals with joy and raises his arms up high to sway side to side in his chair), Ernest: (holds Rimshot as he licks Ernest’s face) You know where we’re goin’? Showing unconditional love to KILL your enemy! A fucking net! (sobs) Rimshot, old boy. NC (voiceover): Look, you don’t have to be a Wheel-of-Fortune wizard to figure this out! NC (voiceover): Hey, hey! Trantor, a demonic troll who turns children into wooden dolls to feast upon their energy, is captured by townspeople of Briarville and sealed under a giant oak tree in the 19th Century. Ernest finds Sheriff Binder, who is Kenny's dad, and explains the situation but they do not believe him. What, was the book just not sucking her in? The prototypes for Bulk and Skull have arrived! (quick flash to Bhargav wearing a Batman mask). That’s it! Kenny realizes that "mother's care" refers to milk and rallies a troll-fighting team to destroy them. Ernest inadvertently releases him. (camera closeup on his mug face) Sheriff Binder! Kill him! (Trantor has turned into an uglier, more powerful version of himself. Trantor appears there and takes the mayor's oldest son as his fifth and final wooden doll. NC (voiceover): But the monster is captured and buried under an oak tree, because…maybe he makes good fertilizer, as we cut to years later where Ernest P. Worrell now has a job as a garbage truck driver. Mother: (sighs with a smile) I love you, too. Lloyd Worrell (dressed as a Hun warrior) WAAHHH! (Joey gets turned into a wooden doll, and Trantor holds it up in triumph). http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-ernest-scared-stupid/, http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-real-thoughts-on-the-ernest-movies/, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch, The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs, Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells, New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings, Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments, Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. And then they’re gonna eat me! Sadly, you don’t get that here. He’s totally shocked when she does it! That’ll teach you for saying that Mello Yellow is better than Mountain Dew. It really works! (Ernest pulls apart the battery from a controller, stopping the walls from moving; he chuckles at this until static electricity sporadically connects between the battery and the controller, starting up the mechanisms again; he screams at this). I mean, in the opening, he was caught by a net! Woe to you, O Seed of Worrell! (Ernest arrives at the tree with his truck). I know a dork when I see one. NC: I’m the Nostalgia Critic, and stay tuned! Mother: Well, I’m not too fond of you, either! Francis: (reads the text in the book) “Thou canth destroyeth the troll with…”, Ernest: (reads in the book) “M-I-something-K.”. (He shoots his milk). NC (voiceover): (speaks as Dr. Emmett Brown from “Back to the Future”) Marty! Oh, yeah. (She starts to walk away). Out of vengeance, Trantor places a curse on the Worrell family, stating that he can only be released on the night before Halloween and by the hands of a Worrell. He’s behind him. (The camera follows Ernest in and aims at every person who speaks their line). Old Lady Hackmore, a local superstitious hermit, finds them building it after Mike and Matt Murdock bullied Kenny by ruining his cardboard haunted house. Authentic Bulgarian miak! NC (voiceover): So, of course, the “miak” doesn’t work, but he’s scared away by the ice cream. It was based entirely on conditions! Ernest: (turns the crank on a jack in his garage) You need to learn the…self-defenses from…tiny Botswana, that…plucky little nation that defeated the great Ottoman Empire. He’s Ernest. NC (voiceover): (sighs) Why is this thing so hard to stop?! It was awful, the thunder and the lightning, and it had great big teeth and things on its ears like this! The film debuted at No. NC (voiceover): So they decide to relocate their haunted house to a tree house. (The bullies continue shaking the haunted house until the three main kids get out and run away, and then the bullies succeed in collapsing the house). Girl: This thing looks silly. They are followed by Trantor. Ernest: (brings his arms out) Come on, little fella! Joey: (places a hand on his heart) My heart was in my throat. Ones seen in the credits include Nosferatu (1922), White Zombie (1932), Phantom from Space (1953), The Brain from Planet Arous (1957), The Screaming Skull (1958), Missile to the Moon (1958), The Hideous Sun Demon (1959), The Giant Gila Monster (1959), The Killer Shrews (1959), Battle Beyond the Sun (1959), and The Little Shop of Horrors (1960). Your fucking fictional beverage is more entertaining than you are! Cinema Snob already reviewed “Caligula,” and besides, I don’t want to see you naked. NC (voiceover): Really? Ernest attempts to mount a defense against Trantor, but the townspeople do not believe his story and refuse to provide assistance, but Tom and Bobby Tulip sell Ernest phony troll weapons. Trantor is a demonic troll who transforms children into wooden dolls to feast upon their energy out on Briarville, Missouri in the late 19th century. Kenny: Mother’s care. NC (voiceover): Eh, it’s been a while. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat.
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