still alive 810 GIFs. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. I'm used to it, anyway. 45. Alive Jokes. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? 13. 100. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. 16. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. 11. To text, most of us need our thumbs. 50. What do you mean Im still single. Maybe I am a kindergartner? I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. But it can be funny. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". 38. 10. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. 4. but it's just so blunt and funny. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. My grandfather had a ton of these. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Is everything stable at your end? It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Holy s**t, you can see me?! 61. Funny as phuck. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. The only thing offending me right now is your face. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Keep calm and be awesome. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. And it's time for me to make my escape. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Feeling confident? What's your sign? My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. How did you get here? *Siri activates front camera*. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. How impressive! I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." 5. 53. It's all about confidence. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Thank you Fred. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. Do you want the short or the detailed version? While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You just live. Youre a ground-hugger. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." 13. Privacy Policy. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Im always there when I need me. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. No, not really. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Youll never be even half the man your mother is. Because if you are, youre doing it right. As for me, I cant even afford honey! 2. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. There is plenty of room. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Not bad. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are But, they will grow up into a dog. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Hello, how are you? He will be missed. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Nice outfit. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. 83. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. 15. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. 9. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. 8. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. I think I am doing alright. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! 1. original sound - Tyren Sams. Not sure why you're asking me my age. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. What? ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Cookie Notice 55. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Don't Push It Too Far. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. 2. Your email address will not be published. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. I'm afraid I can't do that. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Sorry, life. Here's another way to respond to your crush. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Maybe their roommate was sick. Life is up to something. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? I only fall in love with anime characters. I love you. 12. I suggest you do a little soul searching. 10. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. 25. What could go wrong? 4. The music billboard charts got it wrong! 15. This one is good. Learn more about us here. Steven Wright (comedian). Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). 6. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. 12. 26. Did someone leave your cage open? Have you been thinking? 93. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" I favour the "How am I what?" 56. "Alright. This does not seem right. 14. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Image: wikimedia commons 6. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". . 43. I repeat I am plural! So, you changed your mind? As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. 84. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. At minding my own business? The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. 59. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Could Be Better. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). 79. Impressive! Hi! For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Im too expensive. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. No, keep talking. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Is your family tree a cactus? If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. 22. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. Someone took their costume way too seriously. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. 1. Reply. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. 62. 11. 69. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". If you are, then maybe were meant to be! I'm overqualified! Usually, people live and learn. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Not Bad. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. 6. Still, the ghosters ghost on. Were already married, remember?! You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. 1. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. This one is a bit long. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! 48. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. 40. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . He's jokingly texting if you're ok. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. I dont think youre stupid. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. I am not sure what you mean. Hmmph. 76. Your email address will not be published. 80. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? That's impossible. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty.